“She wasn’t bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.”
–The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I’ve kept a journal since I was in seventh grade, and there are very, very few people that have seen its contents. At this point, I have gone through approximately eight of them. They contain the stories of my life, as well as the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
For too long, I’ve kept my journals locked safely in a box beneath my bed, afraid to share my stories and thoughts with the world. However, after experiencing a somewhat tumultuous few years, I’ve felt this inexplicable need to divulge some of the things I’ve experienced to anybody that might be looking for some reassurance that they aren’t alone in all of this.
I feel very strongly that there is much to be gained by sharing the things we learn from both the good and the bad experiences of our lives. As a twenty-something who doesn’t know what the hell is going on, I think that many of you will be able to relate to some of the feelings I discuss, even if they may have manifested themselves differently in your own lives. But my primary goal is to show you all how, as I reflect upon the past few years, as I consider some of the highs and extremely low lows in the context of a seamless narrative, I can see this unbelievable hope and beauty in the way things unfolded that I wasn’t able to see at the time.
I believe, wholeheartedly, that things happen for a reason. I lost hold of that belief for a little bit, and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t have moments when it’s a very, very difficult one to maintain. But I wanted to start writing to remind myself and to remind you all that it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be lost, it’s ok to be confused. But if we pay attention–really pay attention–to the way our lives unfold, we can see that we are always given a reason to keep believing.
For a little bit different perspective, check out some of my poems here: https://kcontemplations.wordpress.com/